Monday, October 31, 2016

October 15



Great news. My dads are on their way home to Kalquor! They’ve been relieved by a new batch of workers taking their place. They don’t have to remain until the end of the rescue operation on Earth.

I got the recorded com from Nayun this morning. That big bear of a beaming Imdiko was nearly dancing in his glee after he made the announcement. “Nine more months until I can hold my granddaughter! So don’t go growing up too fast, little Anrel,” he begged.

While he almost danced, I actually did, twirling around and laughing with Anrel in my arms. She chortled with happiness at our frolic. My honorary parent clan is coming home. I’m beside myself with joy.

I sent a com to them, showing them how happy we were at the news. “Be careful,” I begged. “It’s ugly out there. I’ll be devastated if my dads don’t get here in one piece.”

It was on the tip of my tongue to ask if Clan Dusa was also part of the changing of the guard, but I knew better. A lot has happened since I said goodbye to them. I’ve loved and lost other men. I’ve changed a ton from the person I was when I knew them. I have a daughter, and I must put her first and foremost.

After seeing Anrel with Clan Seot a few times now, three men who dote on her, I’m starting to think maybe the Kalquorians’ view of fatherhood isn’t so outrageous. Particularly since Dusa has been adamant about staying away from me and Anrel. That alone tells me we are done. My little girl must come first with any clan who is to be a meaningful part of our lives. Clan Dusa has failed in that. As painful as it is to say it, they don’t deserve her. Perhaps their reasoning for it is sound, but the fact remains that they haven’t made any kind of effort to know their maybe-daughter. Even the one time Nobek Esak reached out to me, his interest didn’t go beyond a couple of general questions.

So I didn’t ask Dad about them. The past is the past, and it needs to stay there. Sure, it hurts. Maybe more than a little. But the future has so much going for it. I need to concentrate on that.

I also commed a message to my dads’ Matara Joelle. She’s about six weeks away. Her trip is taking longer than expected due to an engine malfunction on her transport. No doubt she’s looking forward to the end of her journey. I not only celebrated the good news of Clan Bitev’s coming home, but I also updated her on all the stuff I’m up to. I’m looking forward to meeting my stepmom in the flesh. She’s been wonderful about sending messages of support through all my difficult times.

With the dutiful daughter stuff out of the way, it was time to turn my attention from future happiness to present drudgery.

It was time to pack again. Boo. Hiss. Waa. I should be a pro at this by now. I should be able to do it in my sleep. It’s still a drag. During my holiday with Betra and Oses, I swear I left behind at least one item every place we stayed. I am hopeless.

It occurs to me that I’ve spent so little time at this complex, I might as well not be here. I’m living out of a travel bin. I need to say ‘screw it’, get a tambourine, and dedicate myself to being a gypsy. Thank goodness Anrel travels so well, poor rootless baby.

Enough whining. I’ll keep reminding myself I get to have dinner with Clan Seot tonight. Tomorrow, I will finally meet Clan Aslada in the firm, delicious flesh. And I will get to stay put in one place for at least a few weeks. Yay! Temporary stability.

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