Thursday, December 3, 2015

August 10

I am in so much pain. I swear, even my eyelashes hurt. Only three days into training, and I’m dying here.

Resan continues to be relentless. I truly do dislike the man. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. I can’t even blame it on him being a brutal bastard – which he is. No, there is just something about him that rubs me wrong. I’ve come across this with others before, where there is no one reason I can pick out why we can’t stand each other. We just do. Resan is that person on this transport for me.

Fortunately, I’m no longer his only target. Candy and Katrina have decided to join me in my fight training hell. Now Resan rants at all three of us. He’s made Candy cry both days she’s joined in. She’s apparently part Kalquorian going by what Feru described as that species’ mindset. The more Resan tells her she’s worthless, the more she strives to prove him wrong. I’ve made Candy my inspiration when I’m ready to stomp out of the room.

Katrina looks at Resan like he’s some strange creature she’s never seen before. Nothing he says ruffles her. She’s got bigger problems than a verbally abusive fitness trainer. Sometimes she even laughs at his insults, which I’ve noticed seems to piss him off. It’s hilarious. I wish I could pull that off.

Poor Katrina. She’s still struggling with what to do about her son Matthew. She’s even taking some time off from seeing Clan Wotref, needing the distance to sort out everything. Best case scenario is that Matthew comes to his senses, lets her back into his and his children’s lives, and she can go back to her three men to live lustfully ever after ... or for however long she chooses to. Imdiko Ret always has a wistful look on his face when she comes into Medical to visit Anrel, though he respectfully keeps his distance. I note her stealing glances at him too when he’s not looking, her face drawn with sadness. She misses the captain’s clan.

Back to my work. I like blade training a lot. Our instructor is a Nobek about Oses’ age. His name is Idow, and he has so many scars he looks like a walking roadmap. Despite looking like such a mess, the man is amazing to watch when he demonstrates a new technique. He has the grace of a ballet dancer, moving like he’s made of water rather than flesh. He has a son and a nephew who trained under Larten and offers only praise for my beau.

The blade Larten gave me is easy to handle. Candy uses one borrowed from Nobek Mihi, and she complains about how heavy it is. It was made for a muscular Nobek, as is the one Katrina wields. Since she won’t see Clan Wotref right now, Nobek Siko sent her one of his through Oses.

We’re working on parrying blows that Idow comes at us with (with a non-lethal stick instead of a blade), and the other two are incredibly clumsy with their cumbersome knives. Idow is designing better blades for the transport’s armorer to make for them. Oses told me that unbeknownst to the gals, Wotref is paying for the knives.

Oses is as tough on us as Resan is when it comes to self-defense tactics ... but not as nasty with the insults. Still, he makes no bones about it when he’s not happy with our performances. ‘That was adequate’ is high praise coming from our unimpressed weapons commander.

He and I have already had words when it comes to instruction, just as we knew we would. As I said, I am in so much pain right now I can barely see straight. I swear I’ve discovered sore muscles in places that I didn’t know I possessed. Today’s schedule had me, Candy, and Katrina trooping straight from Dramok Ass – I mean Resan – to Oses. I was out of sorts after a particularly ugly confrontation with the man who should be staked on a hill of fire ants. I was dreaming up vicious visions of retaliation when we reached the tiny room where the weapons commander waited.

My spirits lifted to see Oses clad only in shorts, his magnificent body making my mouth dry. I might have tried for a different kind of workout despite all the pain I was in if Candy and Katrina hadn’t been there. Instead I lined up with my friends before the Nobek and awaited his instructions.

“Head assault. Defend!” he barked at us. We immediately crouched down, our arms flying up in x formations before our faces.

“Lower, Candy. Faster, Katrina. Shalia, that was sloppy and slow all the way. Up straight. Lower body assault. Defend!”

Again we moved, more or less in unison. I was sluggish, and my legs damned near tangled around each other as I jerked to one side, moving to present less of a target to my imaginary attacker.

“Better speed that time, Katrina. Blade your body more, Candy. Shalia, either wake up or get the fuck out of my training class.”

After my latest row with Resan, my fuse was short. “Hey, back off already. We just worked with the other jerk for the last hour and then some. I can barely walk for the exhaustion and pain. You should be glad I’m on my feet at all!”

Oses went still. I’ve never seen that man look at me so coldly. I knew I’d gone too far as far as our student/teacher relationship was concerned. I held up my hands.

“I’m sorry, Nobek. I sincerely beg your pardon for my disrespect. It won’t happen again.”

“No it won’t, Matara. Nor will this half-assed display you’ve given me these last three days.” His voice was quiet, but there was a deadly undercurrent to it. The tone made me listen more closely than if he’d screamed at me.

Oses stood in front of me, his hands on his hips. “You asked for this training. You begged for this in your daughter’s name. You promised to do the work, no matter how difficult. What have you done now that we’ve granted you the opportunity? The bare minimum of effort, along with unending complaints and excuses.”

I cringed, feeling small and ashamed. I swear I had started off with good intentions. However, my dislike for Resan and the fact that the work was tons more difficult than I’d anticipated had taken away much of my enthusiasm. I did what I had to in order to get by, nothing more.

Oses’ verbal spanking continued. “I don’t care that you’re tired. I don’t care that you’re hurting as long as Dr. Tep says you’re fine to continue.  You either commit to this or you quit. All or nothing. Either way, you will stop wasting the time I and Dramok Resan spend on you. Decide now, because next time you give me shit whether through performance or running your mouth, I’m throwing you out. There will be no second chances.”

He wasn’t kidding. I either got with the program or Oses would wash his hands of training me.

We had an agreement to leave our student/teacher relationship at the room’s door. Yet I had little doubt that if I failed in this, I would be diminished in Oses’ eyes as his lover and friend.

I swallowed. “I will train to the best of my abilities. I apologize for my poor attitude, Weapons Commander.”

“Then get in position. Mid-section assault. Defend!”

I really worked for the rest of the lesson. It hurt like hell yet I gave it everything I had. I didn’t get any praise, but Oses didn’t kick me out either. When the lesson was over, after he dismissed Candy and Katrina, he told me to present myself for a spanking. I knew it wasn’t because he wanted to have fun. Oses didn’t have to tell me what the punishment was for. I knew. I had been disrespectful to the extreme in front of my fellow students. I was just grateful that he didn’t discipline me in front of the others.

I’d asked to be trained like a Nobek. That meant taking my medicine like one. That meant physical punishment.

I took my licks like any Nobek trainee would accept discipline from his superiors. I probably yelled a lot louder than a Nobek would, but I accepted it. Oses looked kind of proud of me afterward.

“Remember that this stays in this room,” he told me. “Do not bring it into our lives outside of training.”

“Yes, Weapons Commander,” I said. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to not acknowledge my blistered ass when we have dinner with Betra tonight though. I may not be able to sit for a week.

Fuck. Tomorrow is leg day with Resan too. I am going to be in so much agony.


  1. Giggling! Does Resan have a clan? I think he needs to get laid. Other then that everything sounds normal for good ole fashion military training..... Besides the spanking.
    Gods I love this blog!!

  2. Resan's a Dramok right? I seem to recall a Weapons Commander and a Liaison that could use a good Dramok to bring them together.

  3. I know most readers seem to want Dramok Resan to save the day for Shania by clanning Oses and Betra, but i disagree. He is new to the readers of this blog, but he is no stranger to Oses and Betra. Seems to me if there was interest there, something would have happened or been said already. Just because he is not clanned doesn't automatically mean he'd be interested in clanning a heterosexual Imdiko, not to mention the mandatory year as a clan before taking a matara. And, they are military....Shalia would not be able to be with them on ship even if they were clanned, so not much protection for her against Nang or the next calamity that befalls her. Just my two cents....

  4. I read this blog weekly for new entries in Shalia's diary...this is the first time her story has pissed me off. Fuck Resand double-fuck Oses. I don't get why it is so hard for Kalqs to bend on little things, esp when it is explained that humans are different--not nobeks, not dramoks, not imdikos. Human women have emotional needs outside of sex and being bought pretty dresses and baubles. It is a problem I've had with one or two of the full-length novels...up until now Shalia has seemed exempt. Ugh. I can't imagine putting up with gurlocks who can't teach simple defense class without turning the whole affair into alien boot camp. The point was to toughen up, to be able to defend themselves as a last line of defense; the girls arent athletes and the descriptions of the workouts and then the verbal abuse piss me off. "Do it THIS way or you don't really care. Fail and prove what a whiny beotch you are" shit, that would put me off a steady diet of cinammon cocks until the jerks figure out that their way isnt always the right way...