Thursday, November 20, 2014

April 4, fucking early o’clock



What the fuck is going on???

Now I wish I’d taken the sedative Dr. Feru gave me.  But no, I had to be tough Shalia.  I was sure I’d beaten the stupid nightmares.  I showed them who was boss by not taking the drugs and sleeping all alone in my room despite invites from Candy, Betra, and Oses.  I even turned my lights almost all the way down. Damn right I did. I left the room as close to pitch black as it could be while still giving myself just enough light to find the bathroom if I needed it.  Now it’s the middle of the night and I’m wide awake, cowering in my bed.  There were no nightmares, but real life is doing a number on me now.

I think I saw the ghost.

I saw something, damn it.  It wasn’t a dream and it wasn’t a hallucination.  It was in my room and it was real. I have proof. I’m staring at the evidence.

I should com Betra.  He’s on call day and night.  But first I want to stop shaking.  I’m tired of being fragile Shalia.  I want to be my old tough pre-kidnapping self again.  And if I can’t be that Shalia, I want to at least fake it.  As soon as I stop shaking, I’ll com my liaison and show him that someone or something was in my quarters.  Something that can disappear into thin air.

I woke up about twenty minutes ago.  I had the idea that something had touched me, brushing against my face, though I felt nothing when I swam into consciousness.  My heart was hammering like it had the other night though, when the sedation had left me frozen solid in my bed.  At first I tried to console myself that I was having another weird medication-inspired trip.  It took a few seconds for me to remember I hadn’t taken anything.  I was trying to be old Shalia. I was trying to not be damaged anymore.

So I sat up, and that’s when I saw the dark shape again.  The huge black shadow that looked like some mighty beast was there. It was blacker than the other shadows, all hunched up as if it could make itself smaller that way, as if it could escape my stare.  Last time it had been near the doorway.  This time, it was in the corner closest to my bed.  All that stood between me and it was a bunch of shelves and the crap I had cluttered on them.

I couldn’t scream.  Hell, I couldn’t breathe for the next few seconds.  Every fiber of my being was yelling twenty different things at once:  Run!  Attack!  Call for help!  Confront it!

Meanwhile, that – thing simply stood as still as a statue, seemingly every bit as frozen as I was.
When I could breathe again, my voice was an awful whispery thing, as terrified as a small child’s.  “Who’s there?” I quavered.

No answer.  It didn’t move.

I remember being a child afraid of the dark.  Like most children, I would pull the covers over my head because nothing says Monster Protection like a market-ordered bedspread.  I’m not a child anymore, but the urge to hide under the covers was almost overpowering.

Being afraid in my own room had the bizarre effect of pissing me off.  I was supposed to be safe here, so long as the transport wasn’t under attack.  I was free of Finiuld’s ship, where there had been nothing but fear.  I was home. Nothing had the right to make me terrified, not in this space that I had claimed until I made it to Kalquor.

The spike of anger gave me the moment’s courage I needed to shout, “Lights up full!”

In the bare second it took for the panels in the wall to respond with illumination, the dark shape moved. It knocked against my shelves, sending a couple of hair clips, a lipstick, and my half-drunk cup of water crashing to the floor.  I saw a hint of a blurred form streaking towards the door that led to my sitting room before the lights came up well enough to see by.  Then it disappeared, a smear of black nearly seven feet high.

I saw it.  I know I saw it.  But I don’t know what it was.

My brief burst of bravery disappeared with that dark entity.  I’ve been sitting in my bed for the last few minutes, listening over my own gasping breath for any sounds in the sitting room.  I’ve heard nothing but me breathe and the soft rustling of me moving against my bedding.  I finally grabbed my handheld to write all this down in case something happens.  In case something comes for me from out of that other room.

I am trying to convince myself to be strong and that there is nothing to be afraid of.  Yes, I know I saw something strange...maybe even otherworldly.  Candy and others have seen it too though, and no one has been hurt.  It’s just freaky.  Freaky is not dangerous. That is why I haven’t commed Betra yet.  First I’m going to stop shaking.  Then I will tell him to come see me.  When I know he is on his way, I will get up out of this bed, and I will check the other room to see if my visitor is still around.  I will face this head on.  If what I saw is a ghost, it may be looking for help – someone to help it find peace.  There is nothing to be scared of.  Once I know I can com Betra and ask him to come without sounding like a hysterical child, I will prove that to myself.

It’s hard to be calm though, when I’m staring at the hair clips, lipstick, and water spilled all over the floor.  It’s hard to be brave when I have proof that something came in here, something that can appear and disappear at will.  Damn it, what if the ghost isn’t just some poor lost soul?  What if it is that murdered soldier Candy told me about, looking for vengeance on the living?  How the hell do I fight off something like that?

11 comments:

  1. Ghost that knocks over things? Or Kalquorian obsessed with Earther girls? Knew Shalia couldn't stay out of trouble for long.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I personally think its Oses with one of those phaser things and that he cant help himself but make sure his matra is fine

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oohhh didnt think of that! But Candy saw the "ghost" too.

      Delete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. At 7 feet tall it sounds like Nang has found his way on board.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think it's a stray nobek playing with technology that doesn't belong to him. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Salt. Form a circle of salt and stay inside it until Sam and Dean Winchester come to save you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mary, you're silly but on the right track, if she puts powder or salt on the floor and her "ghost" shows up again he'll leave tracks. You take pictures before you go to bed (time stamped) then when it wakes you up and you yell lights you check the floor and take pics of the tracks. With powder he/it might even leave foot prints past where you scatter the powder.
    I love Betra but I would call Oses....... or both. Wink wink

    ReplyDelete