Monday, November 10, 2014
April 2, early
Man, I’m tired. Last night was anything but restful. Dr. Feru’s stronger sedative was a wash. I might give it another try in a couple of nights, but if it doesn’t do a better job, he’ll have to try something else on me. I didn’t have the usual nightmares, but it didn’t keep me from dreaming or hallucinating or whatever the hell it was I did.
I went to bed in my own room after taking the medication, determined to tough things out. I am stronger than this needy creature I’ve become since my abduction. I know I am. I was determined to prove it.
I went to sleep easily enough. In fact, it was kind of like falling off a cliff. One moment I was wide awake in my room. I’d left the walls illuminated just enough so that if I started to get weird I’d be able to see all was well. It was dark, especially in the corners, but not so dark that I’d imagine things were there. The covers were pulled up to my chin. I had the sensation of lightness, like I was about to float away. Then nothing.
At some point in the middle of the night however, I woke. I lay there for a few seconds, my body as heavy as a barge. I had no idea why I was awake or why I had this sensation of fear. My heart pounded. My body, as heavy as it was, strained to flee. I couldn’t even twitch though. It was as if I’d been placed in stasis, except for that horrid, weighty feel to my body.
I felt sure someone was in the room with me. I was positive of that fact. I couldn’t move my head, but my eyes rolled about in their sockets, trying to see who was there.
The far corner of the room to my right, where the door stood open to the sitting area, held a shadow darker than the rest. It was a man, a big man. I could see the form as plain as day, but not the features. This big monstrous creature was in my room staring at me, and I couldn’t budge to run or even scream.
Then he was gone. One moment I’m staring bug-eyed at this black shape at the periphery of my vision, then I’m staring at an empty corner. No one was there, whether man or beast. I was alone.
It took several minutes for my booming heart to calm. All that time I lay there, staring at that corner until I was convinced I’d only imagined seeing someone there. Little by little, the sedative regained control over me. I slid back into sleep, still a little freaked out by the weird hallucination but certain no one was actually in there with me.
When Candy asked us all at breakfast whether we’d seen anything weird during the night, I shook my head with the rest. I know it was the sedative that gave me the bizarre waking dream. I was not about to get my ghost-freaked friend another reason to be spooked at night. I doubt I would have been able to convince her that my ‘visitor’ was nothing but a chemically-induced side effect.
I’m still tired though. I think I’ll crawl back into bed and try to get some more sleep, especially since Oses left me a message asking me to come to his quarters after his shift is up today. Maybe I won’t be spending my night without the sedative all alone.