Thursday, January 9, 2014

January 9

I told Candy and Katrina about my wild romp with Betra.  Katrina, true to form, cheered me on.  “How was he?  He is so delicious looking,” she enthused.

“Good Lord, Katrina, I’m not going to give you the dirty details,” I snorted.  “But I will tell you he was as good as he looks.”  I had to give credit where it was due.

She gave me a long, searching look.  "How are you with this unexpected romp?  I doubt you've gotten over Clan Dusa, Shalia.  You've been carrying that torch with so much angst, I'm not about to believe you're letting those boys go."

It was a bit odd to have Katrina turn serious about sex.  My heart warmed at her obvious concern.  "I don't know where my head is precisely," I admitted. "I'm trying to do the right thing, especially where the baby's concerned.  That's assuming I decide to have it.  I'm still sorting it all out."

"How do you feel about Betra?" she prodded.  "That's important too."

"I'm not head over heels, if that's what you're asking.  I like him.  He's a sweetheart, and he deserves a little happiness, since it looks like he will never join a clan.  Although I'm not quite sure he's going to find anything remotely near joy with me," I added a bit sheepishly.  Poor Betra could do a hell of a lot better than my messed-up ass.

There was a note of warning in Katrina's tone.  "Shalia, he's not clanned with anyone.  You cannot fall in love with another one of them that you have no chance of keeping."

I blinked at her in surprise.  "I don't plan to fall in love with Betra.  That's the last thing I want.  I think my heart's been shredded enough."

"So long as you keep that in mind."  Katrina smiled a little sadly.  "You remind me of my youngest daughter with your relationship troubles.  When she first dated as a teenager, the world ended and began again depending on whether or not she was breaking up with a young man or finding someone new.  You have that same tendency to ride an emotional rollercoaster."

I sighed.  "As a teenager, huh?  I guess I'm a little behind."

"How much did you date back on Earth?"

I shook my head.  "I didn't.  The first time I was molested, I was only fourteen.  I never trusted men after that, and they seemed to go out of their way to prove they weren't worth the effort."

Katrina shook her head.  "No wonder you're such a mess when it comes to relationships.  You're just now having your first experiences.  Chin up, sweetie.  You'll figure it out.  Just give yourself time.  Oh, and don't fall in love with Betra.  Fuck him silly, but don't give him your heart.  You'll just end up hurting all over again."

Sage advice from a wise woman.  I have vowed to follow her sensible warning.

I noticed Candy had said nothing during our conversation.  At first I thought she was disgusted by me jumping our liaison.  After all, she’s heard me go on and on about how much I adore Dusa’s clan and that I want to see them again.  Maybe she thought I was a big slut after all ... hell, I’m not convinced I’m not the second coming of Jezebel myself. 

“Go ahead, tell me how awful I am,” I invited.  I thought perhaps I deserved the castigation.  “Tart, whore, pick your name for it.”

To my surprise, she smacked me upside my head in obvious irritation.  “Shut up, stupid.  You know I don’t think that of you.  You’re lonely and sad and scared.  Plus pregnant, so you’re hormonal as hell too.  Of course you turned to Betra for the closeness you need.”

“Then why are you looking so grouchy?” I said, rubbing over my ear where she’d let me have it.  It really smarted.

Candy rolled her eyes.  “Damn it, Shalia, everything is not about you.  It’s all about me.”  She stuck her tongue out and attempted a silly act to alleviate my concern.  “I’m the only one who matters here.  Don’t you know that yet?”

I wasn’t fooled by her surface goofiness.  “So lay it on us.  That’s what we’re here for.  Friends don’t just listen to my shit.  They get to tell me all about their shit too.”

Katrina arched an eyebrow at Candy.  “You are allowed your own dramas, even if they don’t compare to Shalia’s.”

I blew a raspberry at Katrina for that one.  “Look, I’d prefer to not be the Queen of Whine and Cheesiness.  Go ahead, Candy, steal my crown.”

“Fine.  I think I’m frigid and it’s driving me nuts.”

Katrina snickered.  “Saving yourself for something more meaningful than sex for sex’s sake is not frigidity, my dear.  You’re simply being sure it’s what you want.”

“Do you think so?”  Candy bit her lip.  As funny as her concern sounded, I could tell it really did worry her.  “I mean, I get vicarious fun out of hearing about you two having wild encounters, and I keep thinking ‘I wish that was me’, but I’m terrified of going through with it.”

“Is that why you never show up for my little salons?” Katrina asked gently.  She’d caught on that this was a big deal to Candy.

Candy sniffled.  “I’ve tried to.  I get all dolled up and pretty, start for the door to join you and your Kalquorian friends, and then I stop cold.  I did make it halfway down the hall one time, but then I started shaking and sweating ... I just couldn’t do it.”

Katrina’s eyes went wide.  “I never knew you’d gone as far as that.  I thought you hadn’t bothered at all.”

“Oh, I bother, all right.  Then I think about all those men, being with one ... it’s exciting, but it’s so scary I can’t go through with it!”

“You’re not made for casual encounters,” I opined.  “Neither am I, though I’m sure that surprises you.  I do have to have something invested in the guys I get frisky with.”

Candy wrung her hands.  “So what do I do?  Wait until I choose a clan?  But that’s months away!  I’m tired of being the only one cuddling a damned pillow every night.”

Katrina and I looked at each other.  I had a flash of inspiration.

“Choose a temporary boyfriend.  Someone you can like and be pals with, but not invest your heart in,” I said.  “Get comfortable with him and date, like you would on Earth.  Then, if it comes up, have him bite you and go from there.”

Katrina considered.  “I can give you a few names of the men I think you’d enjoy the company of,” she said.  “Then I can be like your go-between when you pick one to get to know.  I’ll tell him you’re nervous and need someone that’s a friend first and a lover second.”

“Do you think that would work?”  Candy sounded so hopeful that I could have cried.  Poor girl ... I hated that I had been clueless to her suffering.

Katrina nodded.  “I don’t see why not.  The youngest ones can be a bit over-eager, but one in his late thirties or forties ... they aren’t as susceptible to their hormones.”  She snickered.  “When it comes to sex, Kalquorians seem to stay in adolescence a lot longer than Earther men.  The Nobeks in particular have trouble keeping their urges under control.  I’m going to get you started with a nice Dramok, someone who will be a good guide as you start your explorations.”

Candy looked to me for my opinion.  I said, “Why not?  It beats sitting in your room alone, all dressed up and no one to show it to.  Give it a try.”

Candy nodded.  “I think I will.”

Katrina gave our hesitant friend her most roguish smile.  “I’m having a get-together tonight.  Get pretty and come in fifteen minutes late.  I’ll tell the boys you are to be admired but not touched unless you change your mind.  No pressure, and I’ll set up a couple for you to get to know.”

Candy chewed on her lip for a few minutes then smiled.  “Okay.  I can handle that.”

I’m tempted to go just to see what happens, but I don’t want to be on any guy’s radar.  It’s bad enough I slipped up with Betra, and we left it open for another ‘accident’.  I’m going to try to be smart Shalia for a change and not put myself in the middle of the road to be run over by temptation.


  1. I hope we're all going to the party on Monday!

  2. "How much did you date back on Earth?"

    I shook my head. "I didn't. The first time I was molested, I was only fourteen. I never trusted men after that, and they seemed to go out of their way to prove they weren't worth the effort."

    Katrina shook her head. "No wonder you're such a mess when it comes to relationships. You're just now having your first experiences. " --

    YES! THIS is why I love your writing Tracy. Just when everybody's foaming at Shalia & her shenanigans you remind us WHY she tends to be a shenanigans magnet....

  3. p.s. I'm listening to 3 & Slave for You by Ms.Britney on my Spotify, how appropriate;)

  4. Indeed Syn many seem to forget just how bad she had it before she even met and was taken in by the Kalquorians, as said before I give her credit for her being stable as she is. given the circumstances. And YES YES YES wants to go to the party!!! Love you always Tracy!!

  5. Don't know how to tell you this ladies but Nang still wins the hotness award for looks and scenes.

  6. I dont know Betra is starting to look better and better. The reluctant naughty boy who knows what he shouldnt be doing but still does it.

    I like the whole torn, sexy angst thing Betra has. A hetrosexual male stuck in a society that only recongizes plural unions. It was no big deal when females where few but now their every where and still something he cant have on Kalquor. Even though most Earth women would be more comfortable marrying just one guy.

    I do hope Tracy does maybe even just a Betra short story on Haven colony years later.

  7. I would an invite to that party. I can't wait to read what happens.

  8. all i can say is.. WRITE FASTER *LOL*

  9. yes yes cmarchese I would love to see a Betra story of his own, well depending on how this all works out. and well Nang, sorry the the obsessive, lying, manipulative, jealous and aggressive tendencies. out way the sexy factor to me. I still want to know why he got so pale white when his clan mates forced him to let Shalia go. I think there is a story there. waits impatiently for Monday.

    1. The only real difference between Nang and other Dramoks is that people called Nang on his shit. I can name at least one instance if not more of all those qualities in every single Dramok in this series.