Thursday, December 5, 2013
December 20, later
I went to Dr. Tep and told him I wanted to know who the father of my child is. Guess what? There’s a good chance I won’t be allowed to know! Since I’m not going to clan with Dusa and company, nor Clan Nang (oh HELL NO), my child is to be the legal offspring of whoever I clan with. That means unless Nang or someone in Dusa’s clan has family histories of genetic illnesses, Tep won’t give me the name of the father!
How the hell is that fair? Or right? Shouldn’t my child know who his real father is? Or at least the clan he comes from? I mean ... what the fuck?
Tep did promise to check into the medical records of all concerned. That scared the shit out of me. What if Nang found out he might be the father of my child? He didn’t want to take ‘no’ for an answer most of the time anyway. Good Lord, if I ever opened my door to see that jerk standing there with that ‘I own your ass’ look on his face ... fuck. I’d kill him or myself.
Fortunately, Dr. Tep assured me none of the potential fathers would know a genetic health check was being performed on their backgrounds. So that’s a relief. At least Kalquor is getting one thing right.
He then said, “So you’ve had a few days to think about what you’re going to do with this child. Have you got any questions or concerns you’d like to discuss?”
I had to laugh, though not with much humor. “Dr. Tep, I’ve got nothing BUT concerns. This is such a mess, especially if I don’t know who the father is.”
“The fathers will be the men you clan. Biology does not make a parent. Love and care do.”
Well, isn’t that sweet. And not one bit of help to me whatsoever. “I have to know. I still talk to Clan Dusa. We still care about each other.”
Tep sighed. “You really should rethink that relationship. You are on your way to Kalquor to be a part of the lottery. You’re going to join an established clan which will take care of you and make you their lives’ priority, along with the children you give them.”
I scowled. “I don’t need a guilt trip, Doc.”
He kept on anyway. “Meanwhile, Clan Dusa will be on Earth for as long as it takes to evacuate your people. They may even reach a point while still there when they’ll have been together long enough to clan a woman. They may find a mate, one who makes them as happy as they were with you. If you’re still clinging to them, however, they’ll miss that chance.”
I blinked at him. It had never occurred to me that Dusa’s clan might meet someone special. Someone they would be able to clan.
The thought made me a little ill. Sure, I want the boys to be happy. I want them to have someone who cares for them and makes them smile. I’ll be honest and admit I had never been quite sure I was that someone. Yet now that I was faced with it, I wanted to push the idea away. To pretend that it could never happen.
I muttered, “Thanks for making me feel like shit.”
Tep sighed and patted my shoulder. “Sometimes life works like that, Matara Shalia. You have to turn your back on the past, as much as it might hurt. It’s not good for someone in your condition to be stressed over a foolish thing like the child’s paternity. You should be thinking of a bright and happy future, surrounded by men who love you.”
I was betting Tep had never been in a hopeless love affair. It must be nice to not have your heart yanked out and stomped on. Otherwise, he’d never be hinting that I set Dusa’s clan aside. He’d never suggest I should simply walk away like it hadn’t meant anything.
For God’s sake, they may have given me a child. How am I supposed to not think about that?
And the good news just keeps coming. The com just went off, and it was my good advice buddy Tep himself. None of the Kalquorians I had sex with has any abnormal genetic history. I will not know who the father of my child is. How fucking liberating. Asshole.