Thursday, October 3, 2013
I haven’t written much in several days. I’m trying to spend every waking moment with those I’m about to leave behind, even though Dad and Weln’s work schedules are making that difficult. When I’m not with them, I’m seeing what I can get from the procurement specialists here at the Academy to take with me to Kalquor. I’ve collected clothes for me and Mom, toiletries, little amusements to while away nine months of travel, that kind of thing. They’ll have things I can use on the arriving ship as well, stuff collected from here on Earth.
Plus I’m told my Kalquorian government-issued allowance will be kicking in the moment I board the transport. I can spend it if I want on the way to my new home. We’ll be stopping at different places like space stations, colonies, and planets on our way to the Empire. Candy acts like this is all a big pleasure cruise we’re embarking on, instead of leaving our home forever. She makes me wish I wasn’t such a Gloomy Gus. I’d do anything to trade some of my pessimism for her optimism.
Tomorrow is the big day. Goodbye Earth. Goodbye Dad and Weln. Goodbye Dusa and Esak. Sure, I can com or vid them any time. In fact, Dad has made me swear to check in with him at least once a week.
Since being released from Medical three days ago, I eat most evening meals with Dad’s clan at his insistence. I really like Bitev and Rak. They make me feel like an actual member of their family. I think if I had more time, I’d be calling more than one man ‘Dad’. They all do that caress of placing the palms of their hands on my cheek, which Weln told me is the traditional way fathers greet their daughters. It’s nice to be cared about and damned hard to be leaving it behind.
It’s not like I’m never going to see any of them anymore, not when technology has them only a click away. But it’s not the same as being with them all, face to face. No more hugs from Dad. No more fatherly advice from Bitev. No more cautions from Rak. Most of all, no more lovemaking like Weln and I did last night.
Great, now I’m thinking about last night. It was really, really bittersweet. We went to bed and Weln held me close. After he entered me, we just lay there, kissing and talking for a long time. When we did get around to the actual sex, Weln was sweet and gentle and slow. My climax was like that too. We stayed linked afterward, neither one of us willing to part from the other. I dozed off for a little while, then Weln woke me for more of the same. That was our entire night. We’d love a little while, sleep a little while with him still inside me, then when fresh arousal woke Weln again, we made love some more. When he left for his shift this morning, he told me to expect more of the same tonight. It will be our last night together. I bawled my eyes out after he was gone.
I have all this stuff to pack in my carry case now. Mom’s packing is done. It wasn’t hard to get her things together. Procurement even replaced her knitting needles and scrounged up a few skeins of yarn for her to have on Kalquor. It was so nice of them to make that extra effort.
My belongings on the other hand ... I keep looking at that empty case and all my things laying out beside it, waiting to be placed inside. I’m having a hard time doing it. This is finally it. I’m leaving. I’m scared as hell, and I’m sad.
This is really it.