Monday, September 16, 2013
What a day yesterday was. It was just too much angst after waking up and feeling so good about the night I had with Nang, only to hear Mom was getting worse, then how treacherous Nang had been, and finally getting in his face about it.
I can’t even begin to describe the satisfaction I got when I walked into Nang’s office, saw the smug smirk on his face as he rose to greet me, and loudly announced so the four Kalquorians and my bodyguard just outside could hear: “You are a complete asshole, and I am never going to have anything to do with you again.”
Ha! Seeing his grin fall off his face gave me no end of admittedly vicious happiness. I am a bitch, but Nang totally deserved it at that moment.
“Door, close,” he said. The conversations that had been going on beyond it had gone utterly silent in the wake of my declaration. I had half a mind to order it open again. The commander needed shaming in the worst way.
“What’s wrong, Shalia?” Nang asked, though something in his tone told me he had a pretty good idea I’d found out about his shenanigans. He hung back rather than come near me. Good thing. I’d have clawed his eyes out.
“You sent Dusa and Esak away. You were behind it all along.” Just the statement made me seething mad all over again. “You hateful shit. You knew I love them. You knew I needed them for as long as I was here.”
Nang was as stone faced as an Easter Island statue. “They aren’t good enough for you. They have no rank. You need a grown man who can see to your needs, Shalia, not children.”
“Fuck you!” I raged. “You just wanted me all to yourself. Admit it, you didn’t want to share! And you didn’t care who you hurt! You didn’t care that you broke my heart!”
His expression twisted into something ugly, dangerous, and mean. “What about my heart?” he shouted back. “What about me being hurt? How do you think it feels to have someone right there, someone you know wants you but keeps denying it?”
“I never denied I was attracted to you,” I said. “I always told you the truth. You’re the bastard who refused to let it go.”
Nang was suddenly in front of me, yanking me close. “Of course I wouldn’t let it go. I love you, Shalia. And I knew if I could just get you away from those young fools, you’d love me too.”
His grip on my arms was painful, and I jerked, trying to break free of him. He only pulled me closer.
Nang’s eyes were wide, his expression bordering on desperation. “I know you have feelings for me. After last night, I have no doubt of that. Forget Clan Dusa. Send your mother on to Kalquor for the treatment she needs and stay with me. I’ll make you happy.”
“Let me go, Nang,” I groaned between clenched teeth. “You’re hurting me.”
He automatically released me, thank God. I was honestly afraid he wouldn’t. Weln’s warnings that Nang might become dangerous in his jealousy replayed in my head. But the commander let me go, and I took full advantage of it.
I punched him in the face with every bit of strength I could muster. There was a loud crack as his nose gave way, and blood splattered from his nostrils. Nang stared at me in shock.
“You bastard,” I said, backing towards the door. “Do you think a thousand of you would be worth a single Clan Dusa? That I would ever choose you over my mother? I’d rot on this dying planet before I would stay with you.” Then, my voice filled with venom, I said, “I despise you, Nang. I wish I’d never met you. Stay the fuck away from me. Door, open!”
I ran out, afraid he’d come after me. I was glad to see the five Kalquorians outside the room were still there, staring in fascination as I fled. My bodyguard followed, though not too close. It suited me fine. Site commander or not, I didn’t think Nang would get away with chasing me down in front of the other men, not when I was sobbing. Yeah, I turned crybaby with the mix of disappointment and fear overcoming my anger.
Nang hasn’t tried to contact me. I haven’t heard a peep from him since I ran off yesterday afternoon. I went straight from his office to Medical, where I sat with Mom until Weln got off work and collected me. Surprisingly, my Nobek bodyguard was still on the job, and he followed us back to our room and stood outside the door, same as ever. When Weln left for his shift this morning, another one was there. Nang didn’t order them away.
I am done with Nang. Completely done. As long as I’m here, I will look no farther than Weln for male companionship. After I leave Earth, it’s going to be a long, long time before Shalia Monroe entertains anything possessing a cock ... or two.