Monday, August 12, 2013
Guilt sucks. And while I don’t have anything to feel guilty about by Kalquorian standards, I’m feeling really, really bad inside right now.
Weln got in this morning, waking me and Candy up. He was dead tired on his feet, and he only had five hours before going back to work some more. So we girls got up and got out to let him sleep.
I went alone to sit with Mom while Candy went back to her room to sleep some more. She said she’d had a hard time last night, waking up just about every hour from nightmares. I can’t say I blame her. I didn’t rest so well myself.
Sitting with Mom was pretty dull. I was still shaken from the night before, so dull was actually not a bad option. The trouble with it was, it allowed me to think a bit too much about nearly getting blown apart by a percussion blaster. I wanted Dusa and Esak with me. I wanted their strength to support me.
Hell, I just want them.
I had run out of antidepressants, which were only a temporary option anyway. Dad says what I’ve been taking isn’t physically addictive, but he and Dr. Ginna prefer I don’t start using them as a crutch. He did ask me if I was okay this morning, and I’m sure I could have scored some artificial happiness due to nearly getting killed last night, but I decided to tough it out. I wanted to make him proud and prove to myself I wasn’t a big wuss.
Maybe if I’d taken the drugs, I wouldn’t have been so damned needy. Hindsight is full of ‘maybes’, ‘what-ifs’, and ‘if-onlys’, isn’t it?
What the hell. I know I should have been more responsible. I’m a thinking person, not an animal. I could have exercised better self-control. I really have no excuse for having sex with Nang.
Mom went off for her therapy, so I left Medical to take a walk. I didn’t really want to go outside, even if I wasn’t near the perimeter. I caught myself looking around like a tasty bunny watching out for a hawk. I jumped at a lot of sounds. But I went out anyway, determined to put the scare behind me and show that I wasn’t such a girlie-girl looking to be protected all the time.
By accident or design, I ended up near the office building where Nang does his commander thing. I know. I KNOW. I was asking for trouble. Yet my feet made the turn, I walked through the entrance, and next thing you know, I’m peeking in his office door.
He was alone, and he looked up at me. A smile slowly spread across his face. “I was going to visit you,” he said softly, rising from behind his desk. “The report said you were all right, but I needed to see for myself. Come in here, Shalia, and tell me you’re fine.”
I walked in. I tried to smile back at Nang as he came around the desk, moving close to me. Instead, my eyes filled with tears and I started to cry. So much for being a tough chick.
When those big, strong arms circled my body, I didn’t pull away. I buried my face in Nang’s wide chest, feeling how solid and warm he was. How strong. I went completely weak sister, much to my shame. I sagged against him, letting him hold me up.
He gathered a handful of my hair and pulled my head back so that my face was raised to his. His kiss was tender and good. I lost myself in it as I hung onto him, clinging for all I was worth. The kiss deepened, taking away the pain and fear of the last few days. I got lost in the rush of lust, especially when I smelled that distinctive spicy scent Kalquorians get when they’re aroused.
Nang kissed down my neck, tilting my head to bare it. His mouth paused about halfway down, and I felt the tentative dimpling of my flesh under his fangs. He gave me a moment to think about it, to say no.
I said nothing. He bit, releasing his venom into my veins.
I suppose I could hide behind my grief over losing Dusa and Esak. My fears over an uncertain future on Kalquor. The terror of last night. The intoxication of Nang’s bite. I could use all those things as excuses, but I won’t. I wanted reassurance and I wanted to be held by the strongest person I know. That person was Nang. He’s the only person here who makes me feel truly safe.
So I let him bite me. I let his intoxicant take the last of my resistance away. Then I let him fuck me.
He was every bit as good as I thought he’d be. After I was euphoric from the bite, he picked me up and carried me to a sofa behind his desk. He laid me down and slowly undressed me. First he unbuttoned my blouse, taking his time to slowly bare me to his dark, eager gaze. His lips were parted, and his fangs still showed. He looked so primitive and gorgeous leaning over me.
Nang opened the blouse and lifted me to slip it from my body. His hands went beneath my back to work my bra clasp free. Then he slowly peeled the bra from my tits and tossed it aside. He licked his lips as he looked my bared breasts over, as if contemplating a meal.
My slip-on shoes went next. He unsnapped the jeans I’d confiscated from Candy and pulled them smoothly from my hips and legs.
His hands grasped the top of my panties. Slowly, very deliberately, Nang ripped them apart, baring my pussy with deliberate violence. I was already wet, but the way he tore my underpants into confetti made me gush. I whimpered at this big, dangerous man, telling him of my vulnerability.
Nang looked me over, like a conqueror reviewing the spoils. In that moment, I knew I had reached the point of no return. I was not going to leave his office until he had fucked me, no matter if I begged him not to. The knowledge had me shaking and desperate for him.
“Lie very still,” he told me, his expression filled with primitive need. “Lie still and do not move until I tell you to.”
I couldn’t speak with that feral look pinning me better than restraints could have. He took my silence as the acquiescence it was.
He bent to my breasts, cupping one in his huge paw, gathering it into a round orb so that the nipple jutted straight up. His mouth engulfed as much as he could fit in it, sucking and licking, trying to devour it. I made a choked cry, the feeling of that hot, wet mouth sending the juices pouring from me. Erotic heat zapped straight from his mouth all the way down to my pussy. I wanted to writhe under that demanding suckling, but he’d told me not to move. So I lay there, panting and moaning as he feasted on first one, then the other breast.
His cat-scratchy tongue laved all that flesh, rasping over my skin. He held a nipple between his teeth, lashing the tip with lightning-quick licks while pinching the other with almost cruel pressure. Nang seemed to know instinctively how close to pain to take me before letting up.
He kissed, licked, and nipped his way down, sending fluttering feelings through my stomach and deep pangs of want through my sex. His hard, uncompromising grip circled the backs of my knees, and he spread me wide. His smile was so predatory as he lowered his mouth to me, those dark eyes watching my face.
He licked the entirety of my slit, starting at the bottom and sliding his tongue up until he reached my engorged clit. Then he batted that about with the very tip of his tongue. Sparkles of effervescent pleasure bubbled through me. My hips jerked, out of my control.
“You like that,” he smirked. He did it some more and kept doing it until I shrieked and reached for him.
“Get those hands up over your head and keep them there,” he snarled, going from teasing to dangerous in an instant.
I slammed my hands exactly where I’d been told to. I didn’t have a thought in my head except to obey Nang. It was still damned hard to do so when he kept flicking my clit with light darts that felt like earthquakes in my gut.
He tortured me like that, making me whimper and sob and finally shriek when my senses overloaded. My belly was heavy with the need to come. I shook all over as Nang teased me right up to the verge and then kept me there. I begged him to give me orgasm until my voice was hoarse. He didn’t answer, just kept playing and playing until I was nearly insane.
At last he rose from his decadent feast and lowered my legs so that they framed his folded legs. He opened the crotch seam of his formsuit, releasing his cocks. They stood out from his body, massive lengths curving slightly up. He was hard, wet, and very ready for pleasure. I was ready to let him take it from me.
Nang reached for me, one hand cupping the back of my neck. He helped me sit up and rose up on his knees so that his cocks waved before my face. His voice soft but still demanding, he said, “You have made me wait for this day for a long time, Shalia. You will pleasure me with your mouth to make up for the torment I have endured.”
Smelling his cinnamon-like scent, burning for his touch, I moaned, “Yes, Nang. Anything you want.”
“Do it. Show me how sorry you are for making me wait.”
I started with the smaller cock. I wasn’t subtle or teasing. I tilted my head to the side and sucked it deep into my mouth, letting it enter my throat. Nang’s groan was satisfying. His hands fisted in my hair, and he shoved even farther in. I tried to be ready, but I gagged a little before he slid back out.
“Good girl. Again.”
Instead of waiting for me, the commander thrust in deep once more. Again I gagged softly. “Good. I like hearing you do that. I like the feeling of my cock going all the way down.”
He held my head still and fucked my mouth slowly, enjoying it when I coughed against him. “That’s it,” he whispered as I struggled to accept all of him. “Naughty little Shalia. Naughty little tease. Take your punishment. Good girl.”
I couldn’t help but try to push him back sometimes when he paused with the entirety of his cock shoved in my mouth. He held me still however, not allowing me to escape until he was ready to leave the warm, wet confines. He chuckled at my weak attempts. It sounds awful, but the truth of it was, I was enjoying being mastered by Nang. He’d always been so demanding and uncompromising when we’d petted before. Now, having no choice but to bow to his strength, I was finding out just how exciting I found it to be dominated.
He finally slipped his cock out of my mouth. I whined pathetically, wanting more.
“Do you want to kiss my bigger cock, Shalia?” Nang grinned down at me.
“Yes,” I said.
“Ask me. Ask me very nicely.”
“Please let me kiss your cock, Nang.” Begging him for the privilege had my insides roiling with excitement.
“Do you want to lick it too?”
“Yes. Please let me lick your cock.”
A pearlescent drop had formed on the tip of his primary penis. I wanted it. I was afraid it would drip off before I got to it.
“Please let me suck your cock.”
“And after you kiss and lick and suck my cock, shall I fuck you with it?”
“Yes. Please fuck me, Nang.”
“Very well. You are sorry for making me wait for you, aren’t you Shalia?”
I was out of my mind. Under any other circumstances, I wouldn’t be sorry one bit. But the intoxicant left me unable to think of anything except pleasuring and being pleasuring by this demanding Dramok. Dusa and Esak were nowhere on my radar in that moment.
“I am so sorry,” I whispered, my gaze filled with his dark, stern face.
“You may begin then.”
I started with an open mouthed kiss on the tip of his cock, capturing that sweet prize of pre-cum that had beckoned me. I moaned to feel Nang’s flavor explode on my tongue. Salty-sweet-spicy goodness, incredibly feral and masculine. I groaned and wrapped my hand around the base of him, massaging the length, hoping he’d give me more.
My lips traveled all over that gorgeous tapered sex, kissing it like a long-lost lover. I kissed and licked just as I’d promised, stroking both heated lengths with my hands. More pre-cum dribbled from his primary cock, and I sucked hard, dimpling my cheeks as I accepted each lovely offering. I groaned in gratitude each time, eager to please him so he would make good on his promise to fuck me. My pussy wasn’t as close to cataclysm as it had been while he played with me, but I was desperate to feel Nang inside me.
The commander’s breathing grew louder and faster as I made his cocks engorge. He made noises of animal satisfaction until at last he pushed me backwards, making me lay back on the couch.
“Hold yourself open for me,” Nang demanded, lowering himself to lay on top of me. “I’m going to fuck this sweet body now.”
He didn’t have to tell me twice. I grabbed the backs of my knees and splayed myself wide for him. I’d apparently pushed him to his limit because he had his cocks in one fist, positioning them for entrance instantly. I cried out to feel him hard and ready at my pussy and ass. He snarled at me, showing fangs.
Nang sank into me with a long, drawn-out groan. We were both so wet that he immersed himself in me in one smooth motion. He threw his head back and tensed all over. There was a ripping sound by my ear, and I looked over to see him tearing into the couch cushion with his desperate grip.
“No,” he moaned. “Don’t move, Shalia. If you do, I’ll come right away.”
I ached to buck beneath him, because I was right on the verge myself. I heaved for breath beneath him. “It’s okay. I’m ready too,” I said.
Nang shook his head viciously. “I have waited too long for this moment. I will not have it end so quickly.”
So we lay there, trembling and trying to calm ourselves. After a few minutes, the commander finally began to move, taking slow, careful strokes. My senses reeled after only seconds, my body stampeding for that gorgeous realization.
“Ah ... ah ... ah...” I wailed.
“Don’t you dare,” Nang growled at me. “Not until I tell you to.”
My body wound tight, tighter. “Oh please, Nang,” I begged. “I need to come.”
“Not yet. I will punish you if you do.”
Thoughts of being spanked only made the need to climax more insistent. I cried out, clawing at Nang’s shoulders.
He hissed. His hips slammed hard, and his cocks hit every good part I had. I yelped and bucked against him, driving him deeper. Oh God. I wasn’t going to last.
Nang made a low howling noise and lost all control. He pounded wildly against me, fucking me for everything he was worth. My pussy clenched tight then tighter and my control broke.
I came with a shriek that could have woken the dead. An instant later Nang bellowed and I felt the surge of hot, liquid pleasure filling me. His cocks pulsed hard, pumping his seed into my body.
“Fuck,” he groaned as we came down. “That was over much too fast.”
“It was good though,” I sighed. “Damn, was that ever good.”
The first pangs of guilt were sneaking in, and I was desperate to hide from my conscience. I stroked Nang’s perspiration-sheened body, enjoying all the muscles under my touch. “What is with you Kalquorians and control?”
He looked into my eyes, his expression extremely relaxed, his eyes dilated. “It’s just the way we are. You disobeyed me, naughty girl.”
“I couldn’t stop myself. Consider it an ode to your sexual prowess.”
He chuckled. “Even so, I’m going to punish you for it next time we’re together.”
Next time. Oh boy. As much as the idea gets my motor running again, I can’t get the guilt out of my head. I love Dusa and Esak. I’d probably feel the same for Weln if we had time and I let myself consider him. It’s much too soon to replace them with anyone, especially a snake like Nang. Yet I probably will never see them again. I’m supposed to go to Kalquor and find a clan. Plus Nang makes me feel safe.
Damn it! What do I do?