Monday, March 18, 2013
September 22 (later)
It’s amazing what sleep does to fix an attitude. After getting Mom off to her daytime activities, I went back to bed and got some winks finally. Am feeling much better now, especially since Dusa sent me a message while I was conked out. He and Esak asked me and the old lady to join them for dinner tonight. We’ll sit around and gab until Mom is ready to go to bed. Once she’s squared away, I’ll go back to their quarters for a little ... ahem ... ‘dessert’.
Yes, I’m back on the upswing of my eternal seesaw. I’m once more feeling I deserve a little fun after the hell I’ve been through. I want to kick overbearing morality to the curb with the thought that it’s what put Earth on the extinction list. No doubt I’ll second guess my behavior again at some point in the near future. Maybe I’m as bipolar as my mother. It’s one extreme or the other. I need counseling.
But for now, I’ll settle for sex. It gives me something to look forward to. When I’m getting laid, I don’t worry about anything. Being scared and angry are the last things on my mind.
I still don’t know what I’ll do about my attraction to Nang. It would fix everything if I didn’t have to see him again, but I’m almost done putting my presentation together. In fact, I should let him know we need to sit down and talk about it tomorrow. Eep! Temptation will no doubt raise its ugly head. I really should find out what Dusa and Esak feel about me being with another man. Or maybe I should just tell Nang no. Easy enough until he gets those hands and mouth on me. Then my brain short-circuits and I’m a puddle of goo.
Damn, why can’t I have my cake and eat it too? Hmm. Or would that be, why can’t I have my Kalquorians and -- hahahahaha. I am so nasty.
Well, crap on it. I’ll work on the presentation, go grab Mom, meet the cuties, and have my fun. Live today, because I might be gone tomorrow. Which would be a certainty if darned uptight Earthers have their way.