Monday, February 11, 2013
September 16 and 17
Dusa and Esak messaged me again. Pleading with me to reconsider not talking to them. But I have no choice. I can’t see them. People are still glaring at me when I go to eat. Anywhere I see fellow Earthers, I am ostracized. They whisper and stare when I’m around. When I walk by them, I hear words like ‘slut’ and ‘whore’ and ‘traitor’. Even the few friendlies here at the dorm won’t come near me when we’re away from this area for fear of being treated the same. I’m a pariah to my own. Despised. Hated.
I’ve begged the staff that keeps Mom busy during the day to not let her out of their sight. They are kind and invite me to stay there with her, so I don’t keep to myself so much. I don’t want to be around others though. I want to be left alone. I stay in bed except for meals. I don’t even want to leave for that because of the hatred I have to face. When will they realize I’m not consorting with the enemy anymore? When will they realize that I haven’t done anything wrong?
The only people who want me around are the wrong people. The Kalquorians have been good to me, but they could get me killed or Mom hurt.
I feel the judgment anytime I venture out. The urge to pass sentence. The bloody, angry need to execute.
What do you people want from me? I’m one of you! I’m only trying to get through, to take care of my mom, to live my life. Is it because I didn’t warn anyone about Armageddon? Is this my punishment for staying silent even though I knew it could happen? Divine retribution? Karma?
I can’t wait to get out of here. The next transport off Earth doesn’t leave for a month though. How am I going to get through until then? And where can I go so others don’t attack me for what I’ve done?
So. Glad I only drunk a glass of the wine Dus and esak brought last time I seen them. Cause I’m drinking the rest now. Thanks, my sweet Kalquorans boys. You’re teh best. Cheers.
Sutpid fucking Earthers. What a bunch of assholse. You jduge me for having an innocent dinner with very nice men? For agrreing to do a speech so Kaluqornans won’t scare the shit out of you anymore? Fuck you. Yeah, I kissed a ocuple of them. Got felt up by one too. Iliked it, you stupids assholes. Kiss my ass. Who wants to eat lunch and dinner with you anyway? Like Earhters are so great. Guess what? I was raped by five of your precious Earth men. Yep. The high and mihgty children of the Almighty treated me worse than any damnd alien I’ve met. And Icouldn’t tell anybody becuase they would have put MY ass in prison for it. Would have beat me and cut me and worked me until I was dead. Fuck you all.
I miss Dusa and Esak. I want to see them so bad. Why can’t people just be nice? Why cant we be friends? They treat us sos good and everbody’s mad becuase of Amageddown. They didn’t make the bombs go off, you idiots! Our leadeers did! They knew and they left the warheads theer to kill everyhbody!