Sunday, September 30, 2012
To Whom It May Concern:
My name is Shalia Elizabeth Monroe, and this is my confession as to my part in bringing about Armageddon. Two months after the nuclear explosives detonated beneath our major cities, civilization here on Earth has collapsed. I anticipate I will soon join the millions, perhaps billions, of the dead. For anyone who is not aware of the truth of what happened, I want to set the record straight. I am uniquely qualified to do so as I am one of the many people responsible for the loss of life, and perhaps, the loss of Earth itself.
I was not a high-ranking member of Earth’s leadership. I was not a member of the leadership at all. Until two months ago, I was nothing more than a producer of propaganda films, making a somewhat decent living for me and my mother Eve, who suffers from dementia. My work did put me in contact with certain important people in the hierarchy, but I had no power. I am a woman, after all. Made of Adam’s rib, I was created to be an appendage to man. Or so the Church said. Actually, we females were little more than cunts for men. Something for them to shove their cocks in and shoot their sperm into. Fuck the state-sponsored Church. I can say that now. It had little to do with God and everything to do with grabbing all the power and money it could. It’s gone, and good riddance.
Okay, so I’ve digressed a bit. If you’ve found my handheld computer and this letter, then I hope you can excuse me exercising the freedom to say what I think. I’ve never had that right before, and it’s one of the few things I can enjoy now.
Back to my confession. I knew all about the bombs beneath the cities. I knew that if Earth was ever invaded by a hostile enemy through one of the two wormholes, there would be a big, cataclysmic boom. I was completely aware it would wipe out most of our population and that the fallout would probably decimate Earth.
My lover told me about it. Yes, I committed the sin of sex without marriage. I was fully aware what would happen to me if my transgression was ever discovered. I produced the films, didn’t I? The ones that showed what happened to women who indulged in carnal pleasures, who were branded and tortured and mutilated and finally executed. Yep, that was my work. One of my little cautionary films actually won an award for excellent service to the Church. I burned that piece of shit in a pile of raked leaves that autumn. Puked while I did it too, just as I’d puked every day since following that one woman’s story from her trial until she dropped dead under a shockwhip. I can still hear her screams.
I kept the other award, the one that showed the demonic intent of our enemies the Kalquorians. I’m actually proud of it, though I have no clue just how horrible a race they really are. All those shots showing them with horns and red eyes, fanged mouths gaping open and salivating as they stalk Earther women? That was my work. You truly can’t tell where reality ends and the computer enhancements begin. Not to pat my own back, but I outdid myself on that one. Some (obviously people who'd never seen a real Kalquorian) thought I'd patched in actual footage of our enemies. That's how seamless my work was. Actually, all of the shots were of Earth actors of Middle Eastern ancestry, since the skin and hair coloring is so close to that of the aliens.
But enough about me. I am not writing to extoll my exceedingly few virtues. I am confessing my greatest sin, and it's so huge I can never dream of redeeming myself.
I wonder what the Kalquorians thought when they came through the Bermuda Triangle wormhole and the major cities of Earth exploded? I can only imagine that ‘Oh shit’ moment. After all, the war was all about how they needed Earth women to breed with and save their own civilization. Congratulations, aliens! You won the war. Crispy-fried girls for every clan. Enjoy.
Damn, I’ve wandered off again. It’s hard to concentrate at fucking-early o’clock in the morning when you haven’t slept worth shit in weeks. But Mom’s asleep, and this is my only chance to write without having to worry about what she’s doing or where she’s wandering off to. The old girl’s dementia got a lot worse after everything went to shit.
Back to the great confession. So my lover/rapist (I won’t bore you with that story, my dear confessor), who just happened to be Secretary of the North American Bloc’s Interior, told me all about the stockpiles of old nuclear weaponry that had been hidden under the main cities and rigged to go off if we were invaded. This little party favor was put into place right after Unification, which was 122 years ago. Every time the head of the regime changed, those who weren’t completely psychotic and fanatically bloodthirsty bastards brought up the issue of disarming said warheads. Mike, the guy I was screwing though I really didn’t want to, said the late and unlamented Holy Leader Browning Copeland was considering it. That is until the Kalquorians made that lewd request that Earth share its admittedly ridiculously fertile female population with them.
Crap, Mom’s awake and calling for me. I’ll finish this later.